22 b

thank you guys for commenting! :* i really didnt think anyone was still reading! :P

IDENTITY WEINICH!! :(



E7ebny? Ha shloun? i was confused, ashkara chithb ya3ny it cant get more obvious than that!

"W..w..what?" i still didnt process what was going on and im a very slow analyzer.

"Noora, sima3tene?" No sherlock, i was just shocked for no reason! obviously i heard! "Agoulech a7bech"

"You dont know me" i gave him an evil glare and i could feel his eyes burning through me, he got mad! Shako he gets mad?! he doesnt know me!

"Mbela Noora i DO know you. i know more about you than you know."

"What do you want? Shako Barrak in this? TAKE ME HOME!" i broke out into tears. here i was, in the middle of a strange shalaih with a strange man telling me he loves me.

"Noora, Barrak is my friend. a very good friend. I was with him in chillis that night. I was the one who fell for you, i was the one who got your number, not him. he took your number from me and removed it off my phone. I forgave him and let it go. Then your birthday came along and i got you the range rover. he came to me, complaining about not knowing what to get you so i gave him my present. Noora, do you see how much i love you? i let you believe all that just because i knew he made you happy." he said a lot more but i zoned out. what the hell is wrong with this guy?

"Listen, Talal or whatever your name is. Barrak got me my range rover and did all that other stuff you just lied about. I have no idea what you want from me, but I want to go home. Please."

"IM NOT FINISHED" he screamed and pushed me so hard to the point where i flew off the couch and onto the floor. i cried. silently. tears just raced down my cheeks. "Khara. Noora im so sorry, just let me finish" he came reaching for my hand but i crawled to the corner and he just sat back down.

"I know everything about you, ive loved you since the first time i laid eyes on you, when you were, i believe, 13."

13? what? is he crazy? "are you crazy?" i cant believe i asked him that out loud

"SIM3AY LEMA ANA ATKALAM YOU SHUT UP" wegoul he loves me? shal 7ub hatha? maynoun maynoun!!

"I used to be your neighbor but i moved away. You were 13 and i was 17 and i would just watch you through my window and into yours. You never closed your shutters or your curtains so i could always have a clear view of you"

CREEPY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY!

"Noora, when i moved away, i would drive by your house every single day just so i could see you atleast once." my eyes were coming out of my head. hes so scary. he stalks me! what the hell? what the hell?

"I needed to get closer to you so i made Barrak get to know you. I never thought you would be the kind of girl to date a guy, but i was wrong, and 6i7tai min 3einy." Why is he talking to me like hes my father!

"Talal"

"ANA SHGILTLICH?! MA GILTLICH WHEN I TALK YOU SHUT UP?!" and i started crying again.

"Noora. I became friends with Fahad, ukhoch and a3arf ubooch"

So what? shyabe?

"Either you stop talking to Barrak completely or im going to call your father and brother and let them know about the little hand job their daughter gave a certain guy"

22a

please comment :(






What was he going to do to me?

A9lan, who the hell was he? i was too frightened to turn around and check and too confused to clearly hear the voice and analyze who it belonged to.

"Noora?"

Oh, so it wasnt a mistake? i wasnt just taken by a stranger but by someone who knows me?

I couldnt answer. I honestly was way too scared. Imagine being in a strange place, basically "kidnapped", and needing to pee.

"Noora. LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU" the guy was obviously pissed off so i turned around

You are all probably assuming that it was Barrak, but surprisingly, it wasnt. it was a guy i had never laid eyes on before.

He was tall, scrawny looking, white, had surfer boy brown hair, and big hazel eyes. He was dressed in the typical abercrombie white training pants, which seemed rather dirty. and a red abercrombie sweater.

You know the type of guys that look dirty? Like they havent showered in 10 years or have just been in a fight? Thats how he looked. He looked as if someone had pushed him in the dirt and made him roll over like a pig in mud. He was filthy. His eyes were all red like he had either been smoking up or hasnt slept for ages.

I looked at him.

"Noora, ana ismy Talal." Um okay thank you for the unneeded information. WHY AM I HERE? i wanted to scream out to him but i was shaking. "Lat khafeen" he told me like it was easy to not be scared at a time like this.

"Noora, ana rifeej Barrak" he looked me dead in the eye when he said that. i got chills and i didnt know why.

"why am i here?" my voice was so quiet and, trust me, i am in no way a quiet person, so this was a major shock. i dont think he heard me because he ignored my question and went on.

"Noora, it7ebena?" why dpes he keep saying my name? why is he so scary? my eyes began to swell with tears but they didnt fall, i didnt let them.

i nodded my head.

he looked me straight in the eye and took his finger and wiped the tears that were on the edge of my eyelids and about to fall.

"Bas Noora, ana a7bech"

21 b

Im sorry 7abaybe, uni is making me hallucinate i barely have time to sleep


Barrak beat him up. No, excuse me, Barrak used a bat to beat him up. a BAT! WEIN GA3DEEN?
i felt so guilty, maskeen 7amoud, all he wanted was to make me happy and look where it got him.
i needed help. i needed to get away from Barrak because if he could hurt my friend so badly, what could he do to me?

I decided to change my number and just leave Barrak in the past.

No, i am not a bitch for doing that. I did love him, i adored him and basically put him above everyone else but he crossed the line.

I drove to some random phone shop and bought a new number. Although it was what i wanted, i somewhat felt frightened, like something bad was going to come from this. Could i have been stupider? I bought it under my name.

I didnt leave the house for a few days, i was scared. looking back at it all, i had a right to be scared.

The day i went out was to go to school, i was getting into my range and faj2a i felt a hand dragging me and i lost consciousness.
Yes, it was that bad. I have no idea how i passed out or anything but when i woke up i was in a shalaih. it was pure white. EVERYTHING was white and strictly modern. there was just one painting that was blood red. i looked around me and i found no one. i looked for my purse, my phone, something, there wasnt anything of mine around me except for the clothes on me.

i looked around the shalaih and there wasnt a phone or any form of technology anywhere. i started to cry.

(You guys, this was a very scary part of my life and looking back at it, im actually beginning to shiver. nobody knows about this except for 7amoud, so please bare with me because its a part of my past that i never thought i would look back on)

By night time, i heard a car park outside and i was scared. i could have easily peed in my pants. there was nothing to hide behind or under or anything, i was just there, on the couch, where whoever put me there left me.

He came in from behind me so i couldnt see his face and i didnt dare to turn around and look.

"Ahlain" he said with an evil smirk obviously creeping up on his face.

What was going to happen to me?

21 a

Im so sorry that i've been away for so long, but someone very close to me actually passed away after a long battle with cancer. i just needed some time off, but i believe im back now and i will go back to posting again. sorry again, identity, i miss you the most! :*



i took out my phone, completely ignoring 7amoud's question and send a message to barrak.

"Have fun with rou7ek because i am officially done with this relationship. i hope she makes you happy. :)"

I just couldnt take it anymore. i think that the presence of 7amoud with me at the time is what gave me the strength to do such a thing, because, the second i got home i regretted it all. of course barrak didnt reply to the message since, to him, he doesnt waste his time with pointless messages, and to him, my doubts were pointless and "unnecessary"

honestly, i didnt know what to do. he called me the second i got home.

"MENO HATHA ELY BIL SAYARA!" he was angry. ive never heard him this angry. 7abeebe, he obviously cares if hes this jealous!

"my friend... 7amoud... i told you about him remember?" i was scared. actually, to say i was scared would be an understatement

"NOORA, AKHER MARA AS2ILICH. WHO THE FUCK IS THE GUY? YOU CHEATED ON ME?! IS HE THE REASON YOU BROKE UP WITH ME IN THE FUCKING MESSAGE?!" Let me tell you something about barrak, he is, in no way, the type of person to curse. Thus, when he broke out into "fucks" i was beyond shocked. was it really this bad? i didnt know that i wasnt allowed to hang out with my guy friends, especially 7amoud who ive known for years!

"Barrak, i told you the truth. he is a friend from school, nothing more. i swear to you, hes just a really good friend" i was frightened!

"NOORA! SHENO JUST A FUCKING FRIEND! MAKO! MAY9EIR! ITS NOT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY AND A GIRL TO BE JUST FRIENDS"

what the hell was he saying? not possible? i had a lot of guy friends at school, and personally, i prefer guy friends to girls. they are less bitchy, they tend to not talk about you as much, and they give you better advice, plus they are so much funner.

i stayed quiet.

"NOORA TALK!" i could feel the anger through the phone; but wait; how did he even know i was in the car with 7amoud? wasnt he supposed to be at work?

"How did you know?"

"SHENO ITS A SECRET YA3NE? MIN 9EJECH ENTAI?! I WAS WAITING OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE 3ASHAN ARATHEECH BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING MESSAGE AND NOW I KNOW WHY YOU SENT IT! 3ASHAN 7ABEEB EL GALB M7AMAD!" woah. back up. what? 7abeeb el galb? eratheny? i thought he didnt do anything wrong. but ofcourse, at the time, being the love-sick puppy i was, i cried. i didnt want to lose barrak, he really was my world.

"Baby, im sorry, i didnt know it would be a problem, it wont happen again ok? lets just not argue please" he could obviously tell i was crying through the phone, im not good at hiding it, especially not from him. however, i was told once that crying infront of the guy makes you seem weaker and, thus, makes them attack you more. i dont know, anyways, he stayed silent and i could hear him take a deep breath

"Noora, akalmech ba3den" and he shut the phone in my face. honestly, my biggest pet peeve is when someone shuts the phone in my face when im not done talking. IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALLS. but with him, i accepted everything. everything that i was against became okay, just as long as he was my baby.

I sat in my room staring at my reflection, when 7amoud called me. i didnt want to pick up, i felt like barrak was watching me, so i didnt. i then, got a message from 7amoud saying: Noora, pick up. Its an emergency.
and he called seeda after he sent it, so i picked up.

"A..Alo?" my voice was still stuttery because of how shocked and scared i was of barrak

"Noora, have i ever done anything to you. ever?" he seemed hurt in a way

"you mean something bad? to harm me?" i was confused, why was he asking me this, we were just okay

"yes Noora, something bad. have i ever hurt you or dont something you dont like?"

"La2, not that i can think of, why?" i was seriously confused, i didnt understand what he was getting at, but i remember the feeling i had in my stomach at the time, i was nervous, but i didnt know why until he spoke...

20

im home sick :(





ROU7Y;** calling?! AGAIN?

"Uh, nouny 7abebte yallah go to school!" he literally pushed me out of his car.

What the hell was going on? shisalfa? before i even had the chance to turn around and ask him to explain why he was in such a hurry, he drove off. khalas, i thought to myself that khalas this is enough shit and i need to fix it.

while i was stuck in my little world of thoughts, i accidentally walked into 7amoud. remember? 7amoud was mad at me because of barrak and didnt want anything to do with me.

"Sorry" i gave him a sad smile

"Its okay" he was very cold. it killed me to be talked to like that by someone who apparently cared about me a lot. why was i losing everyone?

the tears gathered up in my eyes and i looked down

"Noora?" i ignored him. 7amoud knew me better than my family did so if i talked, he would have known i was about to burst into tears "Noora 7abebte are you okay?"

i dont know what came over me at that moment but i literally jumped on 7amoud and gave him the longest hug ever. and even when i wanted to let go, he wouldnt let me. we just stood outside school hugging each other like idiots wile everyone watched. i didnt care. as long as i still have 7amoud as a friend.

"Noora im sorry i overreacted.. i just.. i love you.. more than a friend, less than a sister, more than anyone could ever love anyone else." okay so i knew 7amoud had some feelings for me. bas WOAH love? HELLO DRAMA!

"7amoud baby u know i have a boyfriend, i dont think it is right for u to have such feelings. i mean, i am practically engaged!" you know, because barrak kept feeding me hope that we would end up married.

7amoud gave me such a sad look, i knew i crushed him, and it killed me. suddenly he looked up and smiled at me "Nooro, lets ditch school, male khilq Ms.Cary"

"YAY! okay! :D" we went for a drive and ended up getting breakfast at johnny rockets in marina.

it was so random, but it was one of the best days of senior year, honestly.

"Nooro, does he treat u well?"

i told 7amoud everything that ever happened between us EXCEPT for the physical part of our relationship. and while i was talking about barrak, i noticed that i am probably the worlds biggest idiot. obviously rou7y wasn't his mother. and obviously he has someone else on the side. why was i so blind?

i started crying, like a maniac, in the middle of johnny rockets and 7amoud paid the bill and we went to the car.

"Noora 7abebte what are you going to do now?" he was concerned, i could tell he cared a lot and not just because i was gonna be single but because i was going to be free of someone that didnt even love me.

i took out my phone, completely ignoring 7amoud's question and send a message to barrak.

"Have fun with rou7ek because i am officially done with this relationship. i hope she makes you happy. :)"

19 b

im so sorry i have just been extremely lazy and stuff bas im back w 7ady sorry! <3>

19 a

im so sorry i took so long! bas wala a lot has been happening and anyways i love u all im very sorry! w embarak 3alekum elshahar :* im so excited rmathan is finally here! :*



Woah. did she just say Madam Dalya? that has to mean shes married right? but shes not wearing a ring or anything! she looks dirty. how can SHE be married?

you all probably automatically thought Dalya, navy porcshe, maroon interior = barrak right? you see, when youre in a position that i was in, meaning i was completely scared/shocked and i was weak and vulnerable, you dont have the brains to put things together, therefore, all the coincidences didnt click in my head at the time. i didnt assume it was THE Dalya.

"We3 my fiance is busy, just give me your number w we will call you." and she took out her phone and waited for me with all her weight on one hip

I listened, and gave her my number, and she got in the car and drove away.

I just stood there, confused. So much has happened these past few days. i didnt know what was going on with anything! i just got back in my range and drove home.

When i got home, i called 7amoud because he must have freaked out. i had hundreds of missed calls from him. he was so worried when i talked to him. it felt good that someone cared. i really needed him. we talked for about 25 minutes about school and random stuff.

when we shut the phone, i just sat in my room thinking. honestly, just thinking about barrak. what was going on? was my baby okay? what would i do if he wasnt? Just then, my phone rang.

a strange number. like i mentioned, i dont usually answer strange numbers, however, i answered, hoping it was barrak.

"..." i never talk first when weird numbers call me

"Alo?" it was a girl. damn. why do i always get my hopes up?

"Hi, meno?" she didnt sound like a girl i knew. she sounded like her nose was blocked or like she was speaking out of her nose. she sounded like a dalou3a.

"Ma3ach Dalya Al R" Oh. the girl from the accident!

"Oh hi" i didnt want to speak to her, i wasnt up to discussing another thing that i messed up. the first being barrak, the second, the accident. yes, i believed that i had done something to make barrak leave. even though he didnt actually leave me per say.

"Hi, listen here is my fiance, he will talk to you and deal with this ok? bas hatha raqmy so if you need anything else you call me ok?" 7aram she really was nice. but it felt, at the moment, that she feared giving her fiance my number to call me because she thought we would like fall in love or something. haha.

"Um... okay" the faster he gets on the phone, the faster i get off.

"Alo?" the guy was coughing so i couldnt clearly hear his voice

"Isalam 3alaikum" i said, trying to be polite and make it seem like we were going to have a full-on arabic conversation.

"Uh uh.. uh.." he didnt say anything but that. i was confused. did i say it wrong ya3ny? in the background i heard his Dalya say "SHFEEK KALEMHA" and then he did. "3alekum esalam"

Oh my god. my whole world just came crashing down. "Barrak?"


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

im so sorry its short but im a bit busy today! i'll post a very long part b i promise!
as for you Mariam w Rawan, your little messages you sent me, lovely, thanks. and thanks for reading my blog. and how about, you respect yourselves and dont use such trashy language next time? but then again, what should i expect from people as trashy as you two.

*

You all love me 9a7? (a) sorry I haven't posted bas I've been in the musteshfa because fahood sawa 7adeth... Bas el7amdila he's ok now, w enshala ill post either tonight or tomorrow night. Sorry :*

18 b

so i had already told my parents and fahood that i was going to stay in kuwait. of course fahood was extremely happy. he didnt want me to leave because im "his baby sister w mai 9eer i live alone" hes so funny wala.

i fell asleep that night and i kept thinking about what could possibly be so wrong that he had to go to london on such short notice and i fell asleep with that thought in my head.

i was so worried about him. i thought someone had died or something had happened. i thought about the worst case scenarios and freaked myself out. i went to school the next morning with my puffy eyes and swollen face and i didnt feel well at all. he was like my medicine, my air, without him, i would always feel like shit. i walked into school dreading everyones eyes because it was obvious that i barely slept and that i was crying all night and all morning.

while i walked in, it was the first time in about 3 or 4 years that i wasnt holding my caramel machiatto or my panini. that meant, to those people who knew me well enough, that i was in the shittiest mood possible.

Mariam. she walked up to me and looked at me from up to down. "Noora eshfeech?" she asked, trying to make it seem like she cared but she was cold. she would never be the same maryoom to me. "enshala everything is ok with barrak?" was this her way of torturing me?

i gave her the nastiest stare i could concoct and walked away without saying a word. the whole day at school was like that, people asking me what was wrong and me running to the bathroom crying. it had only been one night. what was wrong with me? i think it was just the fact that i was really worried about him and thought something bad had happened to him.

when the day was over, i headed towards my car and i found a note on the window. it was typed up on red paper and said: Dont worry, be happy, im fine.

i smiled. i assumed it was from barrak so thats why i smiled. because of that note, i didnt cry the whole rest of the day. i kept calling his phone but it was off. but it was okay because he said he was fine.

for the whole week of school, i didnt hear from him and i was okay because of that note. however, i realized that 7amoud wasnt at school that whole week either. so i asked his younger brother for his number and i called him.

"Noora?"

"Eshdarak?" i was confused. no guy knew my number.

"Wild guess, eshlounech?" he seemed okay

"good you? where have you been? schools not the same without you. is everything okay?" i have to admit, 7amoud was a sweetheart and still is. ill get to his story when im done with mine. i was worried about him. he always made my school days happy.

"Yeah im fine, i was just food poisoned but im good now. didnt you get my note?" he laughed.

"what note?" i was confused. i didnt get a note from him.

"the one my brother put on your car! the red one! i know red your favorite color, plus it looked pretty with the color of your car" and he laughed. the note was from him? so it wasnt from barrak? barrak wasnt the one that was fine? i cried. on the phone, right then, while i was driving home, i cried. i shut the phone in his face and put my head down on the steering wheel, without even thinking about the fact that i was driving.

CRASH. i bumped into a navy porsche in front of me. i started crying even more. it was such a scary experience. i could have killed someone! i was so careless. wait a minute. navy porsche? wasnt that one of barrak's cars? i couldnt remember the plate number but i knew that he had maroon interior and a red crayon mark on his glove compartment from his little cousin. i had to make sure. i got out of my car and the woman i had hit got out of hers.

guess what? maroon interior and i wasnt quite sure, but i thought i saw the red crayon mark.

the woman looked filthy. not the filthy where she doesnt shower, but the filthy where her clothes are 2 sizes too small for her, her eye liner is thick enough to make her eyes disappear, and her hair was puffed to the maximum and was very dark black with random blonde highlights in between. and even though it was puffed, it looked oily and dirty.

"ABAY! HATHA MU SAYARTI ! ESHFEECH INTAI MATSHOUFEEN?" you know the girls that talk like they're trying to sound girly but its not working for them? thats how she sounded. the only thing that was going through my head was, who the fuck is she and why is she driving barrak's car?

"Sorry i didnt see you, i'll pay for the damages" i dont know why i spoke in english but i did.

"Wee no3ech english school? La mu 3an the money, i will pay, aham shay you are okay?" she was nice, which was ironic because all i wanted to stuff her head into a burger and give it to a lion. she pulled out her phone and dialed a number and i just watched her.

"Alo? 7abeeby! 7abeeby adree enik mash'3ool bas wa7da d3matney w im driving your porsche" she made her voice sound like she was an innocent little 5 year old. hmph. dalou3a. "Wee sorry i thought you were sir. tell him madam Dalya calling and i make accident in mishref"

18 a

i couldnt sleep all night. all i did was cry and think of ways to tell barrak, and i came up with one.

the next morning around 11, barrak called me and told me he was outside and to take his phone out to him. so i did. i went out in fahood's black abercrombie training pants and a gray tee-shirt. my eyes were puffy and red, so it showed i had been crying, and my lips were chapped and puffy. basically, i looked like shit. i looked like i was mourning the death of a loved one.

i walked outside and the smile on his face automatically was wiped away. he looked frightened. okay gelna i look bad, but really? that bad? (that was my pathetic attempt to make a joke by the way haha)

he leaned over the passenger seat and opened the door of his range so i could get in, and i did. he didnt say a word, he just drove off and handed me my iced caramel machiatto. i put it back in the cup holder and handed him his phone. my hands were shaking.

"shfeech noora 7abeebty?" he seemed concerned.

"barrak. i want to ask you once and i want complete honesty" i said while trying not to cry. the trying part didnt really work. i bursted into tears.

he parked the car at this abandoned looking parking lot for a 7okoma school and stared at me. he reached for my hand but i moved it away.

"barrak, menu rou7y?" and i cried even more. the look on his face was like he was heartbroken. but, so was i. who was this rou7y?

"ok i lied. rou7y is my ex girlfriend. she was a rebound after dalya passed away and since then, she never left me alone. she didnt understand that we broke up. but wala, i cant get rid of her. khalas 7abeebty, i will change my number ok?" and he reached for my hand a kissed it.

i believed him. it seemed logical. he never gave me a reason to doubt him. we drove around for an hour or two and by then it was 1 pm and we were both hungry. so we went to the mcdonalds drive through and got lunch. i told him to drop me off because i still had some studying to do before school the next day.

he dropped me home and asked me if he could come pick me up tomorrow and drop me to school. cute right? i agreed and went upstairs to study. wow, i was almost graduating. there was 2 months left of school, and then it would be off to boston. i forgot to mention that i got accepted there!

i havent told barrak yet that i was going to university in boston and i didnt know how he would react. so i decided to tell him that night after i finished studying.

around 9 PM, barrak called me.

"finished studying?"

"yeah i just finished, um, barrak, i need to talk to you about something" i didnt know how he would react, i just assumed we would do long distance or since he was going to propose, he would come with me and do his masters.

"ok?" he seemed scared, like he expected bad news or something

"i got accepted into the university i wanted to go to in boston" i said it with the biggest smile on my face.

"no" he was cold and serious.

"what do you mean no?" i was confused. that didnt even make sense.

"no, you are not going to boston. i am going to get engaged to you and we are staying in kuwait. you can go to KU, you got accepted there, and you can go to GUST or AUK or ACK. take your pick. but no, you are not going to boston" he was mad.

"but i really want to go. ive wanted to go there since i was a kid. my parents both graduated from there and"

he cut me off. "intai ma tifhimen? i said no"

"fine" he crushed my dreams. but atleast he would be mine, so boston was nothing when compared to being with my baby.

the next morning, he picked me up and we headed to starbucks. he didnt let me go down to get the drinks, so i waited in his car. he came back 10 minutes later with my panini and caramel machiatto. while we were driving to school, we started talking.

"Noora, today im going to buy a new number" he was happy and so was i

"Good, thank you 7abeeby" i kissed his cheek, we had reached school and i got out of the car.

Typical school day, i hung out with 7amoud and some random girls, but the whole time i was messaging barrak. around 12 pm, i get a message from a random number. it was SUCH A NICE NUMBER. it was xyxxxxx. the message was written in arabic and said : Hala bil Katkoota, mumken net3araf?

i laughed so hard, but i didnt reply. after school, barrak picked me up and i told him about the weird number while laughing so hard i was about to pee in my pants.

"Call the number" he told me

"Okay, but you talk! im putting it on speaker because i want to hear what kind of loser would write that!"

it was ringing and nobody was picking up until like the 7th ring, barrak pulls up his phone and picks up. i assumed he had a call or something. at the same time, the weird loser freak person picked up.

"BARRAK TALK TALK TALK!" i loudly whispered. he motioned for me to talk myself so i did.

"Alo meno?"

"Hala 7abeebty" it was barrak

i shut the phone and gave him the death stare. "NOT COOL" and he cracked up laughing.

he dropped me home and i went upstairs to take a nap.

i woke up with a message from him saying: 7abeebty, im going to london for 10 days. i wont have my phone. im sorry. i will explain later.

WHAT? ;/ 10 days without him? what was happening? i was so confused. i called his phone and it was off.

17 b

"but how?" i asked him. i didnt know what to do.

he pushed my head down towards his penis and pulled his boxers down. "put your mouth there, and keep trying to go deeper" so, as much as i regret it, i did as i was told until he came.

when we were done with that, we cleaned up and were really tired so we fell asleep, with his arms around me. we slept until around 6 PM and when we woke up, we were starving so we ordered papa johns pizza. my favorite. his too. and we watched a movie. we didnt talk about what happened, but i felt dirty. i felt like i was worthless, like i was trash. how could i have done that?

barrak left my house around 8:30, before the maids and kumar came back, and i headed into the shower and spent an hour in there trying to make myself feel clean again. it didnt work. i got out of the shower, locked my room door and sat in the corner, in the dark, and cried my eyes out. after hours of crying, around 12 am, i realized that barrak hadnt called me yet. shit, i thought to myself, what if he thinks im a slut and he leaves me? what would i do? and i cried some more.

i decided to call him, maybe he was busy, he did mention that he was going to the dewaniya. i called and heard vibration from under my bed. that was weird. i shut and called again. this time i actually realized that he had left his phone at my house. so i looked under my bed and found it. it must have fallen when we fell asleep. he had 10 missed calls and 6 new messages. i wanted to check them so badly but i knew that he would find out. just as i was going to put his phone down, it rang. "ROU7Y;*" calling.

i didnt know what to do, should i answer? no, i decided not to. the rou7y person called 4 more times after that and he recieved 2 more messages which i assumed were from her as well. around an hour and lots of tears later, barrak called me from his friends phone.

"NOORO! 7ABEEBTY! MISSED ME?" he was happy to hear my voice, but i wasnt that happy

"barrak, menu rou7y?" khalas, i needed to know.

"ana rou7ech! 9a7?" he giggled. did he really not know what i meant? or was he playing stupid?

"barrak, wain telephonek?" i tried to be as calm as possible without crying

"i think i forgot it in the car lesh?" he panicked.

"la2, you forgot it in my room" i was talking in the most serious tone i had ever used with him

"oh" that was all he said

"barrak, whos rou7y? the girl that keeps calling your phone?"

"YOU ANSWERED?" he got mad. like he even had a reason to be mad! i was the one that should have been screaming! not him!

"la2" i said as coldly as i possibly could. im not good with being cold. it doesnt work for me.

"rou7y is my mother 7abeebty" he calmed down. his mother? i was so stupid! i cried because his mother called him? i felt so stupid, but for some reason, i didnt completely believe him. but i let it slide. and we shut the phone and he said he would come pick his phone up the next morning.

hours later, his phone rang again, and again, it was the rou7y number. i shouldnt have picked up, but i did.

"....." i just wanted to hear the voice to make sure that it was a woman old enough to sound like his mother.

"7abeeby wenik? im waiting for you bel she8a" WHAT THE HELL? INSHALA BA3AD HE TELLS ME THIS IS HIS MOTHER

"...." i was quiet again, only because i wanted to hear her say more.

"adree u are still mad at me because of yesterday, but i bought you a gift. red silk lingerie" at that moment, i felt like my world was spinning and like i was about to have a heart attack. i shut the phone in her face and sat down on my bed like a zombie. what was i going to do? i literally gave him everything except my virginity, and hes cheating on me with another girl?

the problem was that i couldnt call him and scream at him because:

a) his phone was with me

and b) he told me not to answer anyone

so i couldnt tell him anything. i had to come up with something else.

17 a

so that night, we had a very intense make out session. im sorry to those of you that dont want to read the details, you can just skip this part. but its important in order for you to know just how badly i loved him to the point where i would do anything he asked of me without a second thought.

i was sitting on his lap and he started pushing my shirt all the way up to my bra. i stopped kissing at him and stared right into his eyes. What was he thinking? did he really think i was that kind of girl? he had his hands under my shirt while it was pulled up and he started moving his fingers right below my bra strap and he kissed me on my neck. another long, beautifully passionate kiss on my neck and i was hooked. he looked at me and i nodded.

with that, he took my shirt off and began kissing me again. however this time, it was rough. it was like he had wanted me for so long that he couldnt believe it and just showed me how badly he wanted it. he laid me on the couch and he came on top of me. i felt the electricity go up and down my spine. i love him so much, i thought. and, like he said, we were going to get married.

he slipped my bra strap down my shoulder and started planting kisses right above my breasts but he never actually took my bra off or anything. he then placed his hand on top of my bra and felt my breast while he was kissing my neck. i dont know what it was, but something about him turned me on so much. i think it was just everything. he was perfect.

he sat up and pulled his shirt off and got back on top of me. his body was to die for. he had the six pack that people spend years trying to achieve and his whole body was just perfectly toned. the feeling of his bare chest on mine was a feeling that i dont think i will ever experience again. it was love. i know it was. not just love for his body, but love for the man that i was going to spend the rest of my life with.

after we made out for an hour or so, we sat up and just stared at each other.

"Noora, what would you love for me to do to you?" he asked in a very naughty way.

i was still very innocent and, remember, he was the first guy i had ever even given the time of day to. "i love it when you kiss my neck" i put my head down because that was so embarrassing to say! and without me even realizing, he leaned in and placed his lips on the side of my neck and left me in a daze for about ten minutes.

"Noora, you didnt ask me what i want" this time his voice sounded even naughtier. i expected him to say something like: i want you to kiss me because thats all we've basically done. but he didnt.

"what do you want 7abeeby?" i was so in love, at that moment, at that time, nothing in the world mattered as much as him.

he looked down at his pants and pointed down there "abee blowjob"

"im scared" i didnt know what to tell him. i wanted to make him happy. but, a blowjob? thats too much.

"no baby dont be scared, i'll guide you through it. Noora wain your room?" i pointed at the door of my bedroom and he picked me up and took me in there. he laid me down on the bed and jumped on top of me and started kissing me passionately all over my upper body, but he focused on the neck. he knew it turned me on.

then, he sat up and slipped his pants off. "ok?" he gave me a naughty look and sat down on the bed. "ta3alai sit next to me" and i did as i was told. "Noora, i want you to be my first everything. you were already my first love, i want you to be my first everything else" i nodded. "i want a favor" i nodded again. "itrideenee?" i shook my head, of course not. my baby wanted something, and i would give him whatever he wanted. he took my hand and placed it on top of his boxers.

i freaked out and moved my hand right away, only for him to reach for it and place it under his boxers this time. i could feel him. he was hard. not only could i feel it, but it showed. i liked the idea that i turned him on. it gave me confidence. he guided my hand up and down his penis slowly and when he tried to go faster, i moved my hand away.

"it wasnt that bad was it?" and he gave me a shy kind of sad look. i shook my head just because i wanted him to be happy. it wasnt that bad, it just wasnt something i wanted to do. you guys, take my advice, NEVER do what others want to do if youre not up for it. you WILL regret it.

"Noora, please?" and he pointed down there, so i gave him my hand back. "La2, abee your mouth" and he gave me a naughty look. i didnt know what to do. the most i knew about blowjobs was that the penis goes into the mouth. where do i sit? what do i do? la2 la2 this was too much. no way was i going to do this.

"Barrak...." i couldnt talk. as much as i hate to admit it, i was so turned on by him that night that i could barely talk.

"please?" i nodded. i was going to do whatever made him happy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

im sorry you guys, i know you think im some kind of whore now, but it was out of my power. i couldnt help it. i was stupid and i regret it all. i fell for him hard and i couldnt say no to him. i was wrong and, please, if you have any mean or rude comments, save them because i already feel shitty enough about what happened.

16 b

we decided to watch a movie, i dont remember what movie we watched, but it was so funny and i couldnt stop laughing. every time i would turn to my right though, i would see barrak staring at me. he didnt even watch the movie, he just watched me.

the movie finished and half of the junk food finished as well and we decided to just relax for a bit before we pop in another movie.

"Noora, lesh mat7beenee?" he gave me his puppy dog pout.

"ana ma a7ibik? 7abeeby inta, wala a7ebik wayed" i was shy. it was the first time i said i love you to him face to face. it was so awkward. and what made it more awkward was the fact that he went completely silent for about 10 minutes! he was just staring at me with this look that was priceless. it was like he couldnt believe that i said that.

"im so lucky to have you, ta3alai" and he pulled me onto his lap. i was sitting on his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist and my face was centimeters away from his. it was such a perfect moment. he didnt lean it to kiss me or anything. he was just holding me and staring into my eyes. it was such an amazing feeling. i felt electricity go up and down my body. after staring at each other for like ten minutes, he pulled me into a hug.

i felt safe in his arms. i know thats so cliche. but its true. when youre in love, that person is like your safe haven. while we were hugging he kissed me on the side of my neck. it wasnt a quick kiss. it was one in which his lips stayed on my neck for what felt like a year but was probably around 2 minutes. then he let go and we went back to staring at each other.

i have this thing about me, its such a bad habit and SO WRONG but i cant help it. when i get nervous, i always bite my lip. and thats what i did just then. i dont know what he thought but he took it as a green light to kiss me. and this time, he leaned in and placed his lips on mine and opened them up, allowing his tongue to explore mine and my mouth. it was so passionate, so full of love. i remember thinking at that moment that he loved me and that i was the luckiest girl in this world. i was so naive.

we had our little make out session which resulted in me only in my black lace victoria's secret bra and my pants and him in his boxers. i dont know what i was thinking. i wasnt even thinking. i know i was wrong and im still living with the guilt of what i did with him. no, we didnt have sex that day but a lot happened.

do you guys want details about what happened or it that enough?

16 a

as i mentioned earlier, my family had taken a spontaneous trip to italy and i had 2 weeks all to myself.

i told barrak that my family was out of the country and that it was just me, rose, and sheila and he suddenly became extremely happy. i didnt understand why until he explained his master plan to me that night.

"give rose and sheila the day off tomorrow, and im going to come over and we'll watch movies and eat all the junk food that world has to offer, eshrayech?" how could i say no to him? he was so excited!

"okay, but thats all we are going to do! nothing more!" i had to make sure that he understood that nothing can go on in my house. i have way too much respect for my house.

"of course 7abeebty, yala namay w i will come over in the morning around 11" he was so happy! it was adorable! so we shut the phone and i woke up around 9. perfect, enough time for me to shower and look hot! haha.

i took a shower with my vanilla shower gel, ended it with my vanilla body scrub, and when i got out of the shower, i put on my vanilla body lotion. i love the smell of vanilla. its so fresh and smells amazing! plus, barrak loves it too! i got into my fuschia juicy training pants and wore a white tee-shirt and gold juicy flats. we were just going to hang around the house, so it didnt really matter how i dressed. i tied my hair up in a slightly puffed pony-tail, but nothing too dramatic.

and by 10:30, the maids were out of the house and i had also given kumar the day off as well.

at the last minute i realized that we didnt have any junk food at our house! my parents were health freaks and thats why everyone in my house was so fit and skinny. i panicked until it turned 11 AM sharp and barrak was at the door.

i went downstairs to open the door for him and he was holding four bags full of junk from the jam3eya and 2 starbucks drinks. i loved how well he knew me. i offered to help him carry the bags upstairs but that just made him mad because apparently it was like i was questioning his manhood. ugh, men.

we went upstairs to my floor and we sat on the couch, each on separate ends. he took the first bag of junk and poured it on the floor. it contained skittles, maltezers, m&ms, lollipops, candy necklaces, kinder buenos, jolly ranchers, and mike and ikes.

i was like a little kid in a toy store, no, like a little kid in a candy shop. haha. i was so happy! but why four bags? i was confused. what more could he have possibly brought?!

then, he took the second bag and poured it on the floor. it contained every possible flavored gum you could find. he knew how much i loved gum. actually, everything he had gotten was something that i had once told him i loved. by now, i was smiling from ear to ear and couldnt wait to start eating!

he grabbed the third bag and poured it on the floor. it had ICE CREAM! my favorite! i could live on ice cream! it had all the haagen dazs flavors he could find in the jam3eya, plus baskin robbin's rainbow sorbet, and barred 9aroukh! at one point or another, i was eating one of these ice creams while on the phone with him. he remembered. 7abeeby.

lastly, he took the fourth bag and just as he was about to pour it on floor i asked "what else could you have possibly brought?!" and i laughed. he was like mary poppins! he had everything! without answering me, he poured the bag on the floor and there were bags of chips. salt and vinegar, salted, doritos, cheetos, and the stix. again, i had been eating those while on the phone with him. yes, i am a junk food addict and my mother does not need to be informed. haha.

he looked at me and started laughing. apparently i looked like a bug because my eyes were open very wide and i was jumping up and down. so i laughed too and i jumped and sat on his lap and gave him a peck on the lips.

"thank you thank you thank you!" and i jumped onto the floor and started munching away.

"noora, theres one more thing!" he said while handing me my iced caramel machiatto. wasnt he just the most perfect man?

15 b

days passed and barrak kept showering me with attention and gifts. i loved it. i felt like a princess. and when i told him that, he would always say "You're my princess. my baby. my life" every time.

he was perfect.

one day, i woke up and nobody was home. i called my mother and her phone was shut which is weird because she used her phone more than i did.

so i called fahood w it turned out my lovely family decided to take a little spontaneous 2 week vacation while i was stuck in my last couple months of high school. my family did this all the time. i would always wake up and find them in spain or london or greece. this time it was italy. so, like i said, it wasn't something new to me.

i went to school that saturday dreading facing mariam and rawan. you see, it was spring break when all that stuff happened. i forgot to mention that, sorry! so today was the first day i had to face them. oh joy.

i wore my tie and skirt. i never understood why we had to look like idiots. but anyways, i stopped by starbucks and got my iced caramel machiatto and headed to the hellhole. this was supposed to be the best year of my life, the one ill never forget because of all the good memories, not the bad ones.

i went into school and i knew i would be facing a whole group that mariam concocted. i wasn't scared. i still had friends that weren't mariam's, i still had 7amoud.

i didn't mention 7amoud earlier because i wasn't close with him. m7ammad was a guy in my grade, we have been in the same class since the first grade. we were close while growing up, but he told me he liked me sometime two years ago and we drifted apart. we still talked randomly and he would message me good morning every morning and always try to talk to me, but i never gave him the time of day. i felt so bad, but mariam said he would ruin my sim3a, and of course, i listened.

i walked into school and, to my luck, the first person i saw was 7amoud! he came up to me and hugged me. that was weird, we never hugged before.

"um, 7amoud?" that was so awkward

"7abeebty nooro! i heard what happened! are you okay? are you hurt?" HE WHAT?

"what are you talking about?" please don't be talking about the pills, please, please.

"you know, you're fight with mariam and rawan! they're telling everyone it was your fault and that you chose your "boyfriend" over them when they were just trying to look out for you" he put air quotes on the word boyfriend. what the hell?

"what the hell?" i was shocked. my best friends? spreading rumors? about me? of all people?

"don't worry, i know you don't have a boyfriend. you're not that type" what type? i hate this mentality. the idea that a girl is a slut because she has a boyfriend! we3.

we walked into school side by side and everyone was staring at me. no way it was because of just that one rumor. they obviously said a lot more. i wanted to face them, and i did. i walked up to mariam and rawan, who were standing with their friends that were like disposable puppets to them.

"Mariam. Rawan. Talk. Now" and i pulled them aside.

"Na3am?" mariam said. she was always the bitchy one "shtabeen yal emo?" and she laughed her evil laugh.

"what the hell mariam? you're spreading rumors about me? what the hell? eshsalfitich? we were best friends. were not even friends anymore but that doesn't give you the excuse to make shit up" i'm not mean. i cannot be mean. if someone apologizes, i automatically forgive and forget. but this, i don't know where it came from, suddenly all the pain and anger came out. "grow the fuck up mariam. you're acting like a child. and you Rawan, get your fucking story straight. i cant even believe i was best friends with people as shallow and disgusting as you" and i walked away.

i didn't turn back, i don't know how they looked or what they told their disposable puppets. but for the rest of the year, no one came up to me or looked at me with disgust.

:O

OKAY SHIT.

so i was watching john tucker must die and plotting how to sabotage barrak's life (6) mwahaha. kidding. im not that big of a bitch haha. anyways, while i was thinking about ruining his life, i get a weird call. "unknown number" so i picked up.

"...." i never say anything when a weird number calls.

"Noora?" it was him. barrak. after a year. what could he possibly want? i dont think im ready to talk to him.

"Na3am?" i tried to sound cold. but he knows me way too well, i cant pull off coldness.

"Shlounich Noora?" he was being so formal it was disgusting. i have never heard him be this formal. it sickens me to think that we have reached this stage.

"Good." me trying to be cold is answering with one word answers.

"Ha,_______ told me she saw you gabel cham yowm?" (im not gna say her name because you'll find out later, but its the girl that was driving his car) i couldnt tell what his tone meant. it was weird. it wasnt familiar.

"oh that was her? hehe yeah" i tried to make it seem like i dont care but i cannot lie to him. even after all that, i just cant.

"eee...." and he went silent for about 5 minutes it was just me listening to him breathe and vice versa.

"Sorry barrak, do you need anything?" i have never thrown away an opportunity to talk to him and this shocked him and much as it shocked me.

"um... la2... bes.... Noora?" whats wrong with him? where did all his male confidence go?!

"Yea?" what else could he possibly want? my brain to step on too?

"i just.. i miss you" MIN 9IJA HATHA?! SHENU I MISS YOU?! WHERE THE HELL DID UR LITTLE DIRTY LOOKING WOMAN GO?!

"ok, take care now, bye" take care now? could i have sounded any more stupid?! AHHHHHHHHH this man still makes me forget the world when im talking to him. but i didnt shut. why the hell didnt i shut?! I DONT KNOW! BECAUSE I AM THE WORLDS BIGGEST IDIOT :'(

"Noora?" he giggled. here we go again with his giggle.

"what barrak what? havent you done enough? why are you calling me? why? what exactly do u want? please get to the point." i had to be strong. i cannot talk to him anymore. its too much. i will not accept it. plus he has his little dirty woman.

"khalas never mind, take care of yourself, please. you know, if u ever need anything, im always here for you. always 7abeebty."

"bye" and i shut the phone and now im writing this in tears :(

why is it when you finally think you are over someone, they barge back into your life and you have to start the healing process all over again? :( its been a year. how am i not over him yet?

i dont know what to do. its driving me crazy. hes hurt me so much, you'll find out more soon. but i cant let him go. i mean, look at everything, except for a few large things, he was the perfect man.

3UMRA 6WEEEL! :O :O :O he just sent me a message saying: You will always be my baby, and i will ALWAYS protect you.

im done. im done with him. hes so filthy. hes so low! ahhhhhhhh i wish i had finished my story so you guys could help :(

15 a

okay this is short, ill post part b in a bit, bas im only posting because identity asked for a post (a) haha you love me ! (a)

okay, lets recap for a second, you guys know the love collection from cartier? you know the one that locks? each one of my parents got me one, so i had 2. however, one was gold and the other was rose gold, but neither had the full diamonds. you know what i mean? every other screw was a diamond. am i even making sense? haha. i tried (a)

so since ive known barrak, i have been nagging to him about how badly i wanted to rose gold one in all diamonds. im not spoiled. and i do appreciate what my parents gave me, but i really wanted it. i wasnt going to ask for it, im not that selfish. it was just something on my want list. i havent mentioned it to him in over 2 months, so i figured he forgot about it. i was wrong.

when i turned around in his car, there was a red cartier bag. i automatically knew what it was. but i wouldnt believe it. no way, we havent even been together for a year, and he has gotten me a car and the bracelet? of course i assumed it was only the bracelet. wala if i end up spoiled its because of him.

"Barrak! what is that?" i was blushing. fashla, no way can i accept that!

"open it 7abeebty" he said while reaching for the bag and placing it on my lap. there were two boxes.

two? shenu he got me 2 bracelets?! i thought he was crazy! i opened the first box and there it was. my rose gold love bracelet with the full diamonds. i was in shock. my eyes were watering. i was not the type to cry over happy things, but my eyes were watering! i reached over to him and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

"ta3alai let me put it on for you" he put it on and locked it himself. "this is supposed to stay on ur hand forever, meaning im going to be with you forever, because i will love you forever" and he kissed the crown of my head. was that not the cutest thing ever? "open the next one baby" he was excited, i could see it in his eyes.

i opened the box and i could not believe my eyes. in the box was a rose gold cartier ring with diamonds. a perfect match for my bracelet. again, i reached over him, but this time i kissed him. passionately. i loved him so much. i would have done anything for him.

he took the ring from me and put it on my left ring finger. "Noora, 7abeebty intai, this is a promise ring that im always going to be here for you and a promise from you that the next time something is bothering you, you are not going to hurt yourself, you are going to come talk to me. Noora what would i do without you? i would kill myself if anything ever happened to you. a7ibich noora, a7ibich moot"

perfect moment right? well, it would have been if his phone didnt ring. it rang, he looked at it and quickly turned it off before i could see who was calling. i knew who it was. it was obviously "ROU7Y;*" but i didnt say anything, i knew he loved me. and i knew he wouldnt hurt me. well, i thought so.

14.

where the hell was i? i mean, obviously i was in a hospital, but i wasnt aware of why i was there or what happened. for all i knew, i had fallen asleep last night and woke up in a hospital.

"Fahood, where am i?" i could barely speak. i felt extremely weak.

"NOORO?! YOURE AWAKE?! THANK GOD!" i have never, in my whole life, seen my brother as happy as i saw him at that moment. 7abeeby fahood, i love him so much. honestly, hes probably the best brother in this whole world. a7ibah.

"Fahood sh9ar? aby mai" i was so thirsty, my throat was very dry and it croaked in a way.

he stood up and got me water and rushed back and held my hand. "Nooro, i didnt tell our parents. bes WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING TAKING PILLS? THE KHADAMA CALLED ME CRYING SHE THOUGHT YOU DIED! AND I HAD TO MAKE UP EXCUSES TO IL WALID TELLING HIM THAT I WAS TAKING YOU TO A SPA" now the gentle fahood went away, and ladies and gentlemen, meet the wild side.

"OULA CALM DOWN PLEASE" i put all my energy into saying it. it probably wasnt as loud as i thought it was because if it was, fahood would have probably kicked my ass. "how long have i been here?"

"4 fucking days nooro. 4 FUCKING DAYS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE! I CRIED! ANA RAYAL ESHKUBREE ESH3AR'6EE I CRIED 3ABALY I WAS GOING TO LOSE THE ONLY PERSON THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO ME IN THIS WORLD! NOORO A7IBICH! LESH?! WHY DID YOU DO THIS?! MENU EMTHAYGECH?! WALA I WILL PERSONALLY KILL THEM BAS GOULAY!" and were back to the fahood that i love so much!

"fahoodi im sorry, by mistake wala" and i started crying.

"7abeebty dont cry dont cry khalas forget it, bas if someone is bothering you, you will tell me 9a7?"

"of course! can we leave please?"

so fahood talked to the doctor, and the doctor agreed to let me leave the next morning because they needed to check my liver and kidney to make sure nothing was majorly damaged.

the next morning, fahood took me to get a massage, madry lesh, hes very random. and we went home. i got so many questions about the spa and i also learned that i have the ability to bullshit on the spot. haha.

after i was done sitting with my parents and giving them details about my made-up spa treatments, i headed up to my floor and into the shower. wow. do you know how good it feels to take a long hot shower right after you have been in the hospital for 4 days? no? i didnt think so. haha. but it feels absolutely amazing. i think i might have spent an hour in the shower!

okay so enough about my shower, i changed and everything and it was around 1 pm, lunch was always at 2, so i had an hour before then. i found my phone underneath my pillow. ya7lelha rose, she knows where to hide my phone. i turned it on and found a missU min some friends and 164 missed called men barrak.

funny how i remember the actual number ha? and i had quite a lot of messages from him saying he was worried and not to leave him because he couldnt live without me. you know, stuff a boyfriend usually says to his girlfriend that he supposedly loves. how hes so lost without me and he would die without me, you know, that mumbo jumbo.

at the time, those messages gave me butterflies, actually, still thinking about them gives me butterflies... so i decided to call him, but no way! i couldnt tell him that i took pills! i decided to tell him that i was food poisoned and in the hospital for 4 days because of that. perfect.

so i called him, he was so happy to hear my voice. 7abeeby he made me the happiest person in the world. its like, when i talked to him, i felt like nothing else mattered, all the problems in my life went away, even the shit i got from mariam and rawan, they disappeared. when i talked to him, it was just me and him, nothing else existed. we were in our own world where everything was perfect just because he was mine.

while i was on the phone with him, mariam called me. she was calling me? ghareeba! barrak said i should pick up just to see what she wanted, maybe she was calling to apologize and maybe she realized just how wrong she was. i hoped that was why she was calling. i missed her, honestly, she was my best friend, and i knew that if she apologized soon enough, i would forgive her and everything would go back to normal.

so i picked up.

"alo?" my voice, remember, was still a bit weak from the hospital and i did lose a lot of blood from all the blood tests and a lot of liquids from all the throwing up, so i was very weak at the time.

"haha shenu youre still crying because of me?" and she laughed. that bitch laughed. her and the girls with her. i dont know who was with her, but i distinguished rawan's laugh among the rest. she had this "hehehhee" laugh where you could actually here the "he he he" one by one. it was so annoying.

"shtabeen mariam?" i tried to sound tough, but honestly, i was broken. nobody knew what happened between us, not even fahood.

"welllllll (she let the L drag on), we heard you were in the hospital" and they all bursted out laughing again.

"k?" i tried to sound cold. i couldnt! she was my best friend! they were all my friends! what the hell? how could they?

"BAHAHAHA, shenu you are that weak? you took pills because of us? BAHAHAHA YAHEL YAHEL! HAHAHAHAH" and they all laughed along. how did she know? only fahood knew! shit. he probably called her to tell her because he thought she would be worried. i needed to tell fahood everything now.

i shut the phone in her face and called barrak back and told him everything that happened, even that i lied about the food poisoning and that it was actually that i took pills. he didnt get mad, il3ax, he was worried about me. 7abeeby he told me that he would make my pain go away and make me forget everything bad thats ever happened and that i should just wait until i graduate. that was a few months from now. i couldnt wait. he was my life. my hero. i loved him more than i have ever loved anything else.

after my talk with barrak, i felt better. but i needed to go talk to fahood. i went to his floor and into his room and sat him down.

"fahood, i need to tell you something" and without waiting for him to say anything, i blurted out everything from a to z. everything, leaving out the part about barrak. i dont know what i was thinking, at the time, fahood seemed like he would understand but i didnt want to take the risk. he wasnt very overprotective, if anything, i think he would be happy for me if i had found someone as amazing as barrak that wanted to marry me. but i didnt tell him. hes still my brother, w 7aset ena 3aib u know?

"7abeebty" was all he said and he hugged me tighter than ever and kissed the crown of my head.

"why are they doing this? why?" i started crying. it really did hurt.

"dont worry, theyre teenage girls, this is what they do, but its okay, it will all be over in a few months and you can put it all behind you." he hugged me again and we went downstairs to have lunch.

after lunch, i went upstairs to check my phone, and i had a message from barrak saying: meet me at the jam3eya at 5.

that meant i had 2 hours to get ready. i didnt take too long since i never wore makeup other than lipbalm. so an hour later, i went to my closet and picked out something simple. i still wasnt feeling too well and i was not in the mood of dressing up. i was just going to see barrak, most we would do is go to his place or sit in the car.

i wore my light skinny jeans with fahood's arsenal jersey. i am not hailigiya, i was just not in any type of mood to go out and i was just doing this to see barrak. i tied my straight hair into a tiny puffed up pony tail, put on my strawberry flavored lipbalm from the body shop, got my classic channel bag and headed out the door in my red range.

i got to the jam3eya and barrak was already there so i got into his car.

"turn around, i have a surprise for you" he said while looking into my eyes.

i turned around as quickly as possible. "OH MY GOD! NO YOU SHOULDNT HAVE!"

13. -IDENTITY A7IBICH!! :D

ROU7Y;* ? who the fuck was rou7y? it cant be dalya's number li2ana this was his phone, not the one under the khadama's name. i didnt know what to do, should i pick up? let it ring and then ask him? or what? i have no reason to doubt him, i mean, he hasnt given me a reason to. but i decided, even though i shouldnt have, to pick up.

"....." i didnt say a word. i wanted "rou7a" to talk first

"barrak! BARRAK I NEED YOU!" it was a woman. of course. surprised? i shut the phone in her face and she called back again. only this time i let it ring.

he had the ringtone that got louder by the second, you know what i mean? so he rushed out of the bathroom and i handed him his phone. his face turned pale. he rejected the call and opened his call log and realized that i answered the time before.

"Noora, please tell me you didnt talk. please" he sounded worried and his face was getting paler by the second.

min 9ija hatha? his other girlfriend or whatever the hell she is calls him when im with him and he doesnt even make up an excuse? not that i wanted him to lie, but this is NOT the reaction i expected. i expected him to be crying on the floor begging me to forgive him. la eshda3wa not that dramatic, but at least explain it to me!

"take me to the jam3eya. now." and i put my shoes on and walked out of his house and he followed me. we drove there silently and i got out, got in my car and went home.

no one was at home when i got there because they were all at the shaleh and i chose to stay home. so i headed up to my floor, turned my phone off, turned the bath on, and cried. i sat in the tub for what i think was an hour. you know when ur fingers start getting wrinkly? i cried so much that everything i saw looked like a white blob of nothingness. i don't even know how to explain it but everything was blurry.

usually, at times like this, i would call mariam, but i couldn't. so i called rawan. i needed to tell her everything thats been going on and apologize for not telling her earlier. so i called her from the house phone since my phone was still off and she picked up after the second ring.

"na3am?" she seemed angry.

"shfeech?" my voice was broken. i couldnt deal with more drama today.

"dont call me again. we are not friends anymore, we are merely acquaintances" she mocked my voice and shut the phone in my face.

what did i do wrong? what did i do to her? ive never harmed her in anyway. you guys need to understand that the friendship between me, mariam, and rawan, wasnt like any other friendship. no, we were sisters, literally, we were together every single waking second of the day.

this is the second where i went crazy. you know the dramatic teenage lives where you want to kill yourself because the pain is too much to bare with? that was my moment.

i went into the medicine cupboard and grabbed three of the closest bottles of pills that i could reach and headed back to my room. i debated in my head whether or not i should do this, and decided that i should. i have no idea what i was thinking. i was almost done swallowing somewhere around the 30th pill when i stopped. what the hell was i doing? 7aram! 7ARAM! im not dayna, but i do believe. if i was going to kill myself, i would go to hell. i would cause my family more pain than i was feeling myself. so i stopped.

i couldnt sleep all night because i kept throwing up. apparently the pills have that effect on a body. around 5 am, i decided to turn my phone on. i got a MissU message and 4 other messages.

MissU was 32 calls from barrak

1st message was from barrak saying: please call me im worried

2nd message was also from barrak saying: noora, please call me. 7ady 5ayef 3alech.

3rd message was from rawan saying: paybacks a bitch ha? ;) hoes over bros bitch. not the other way around.

4th message was from mariam saying: haha.

shenu haha? shenu paybacks a bitch? yahal i7na? grow up 7abeebty. were not still in the 2nd grade watching My Little Pony. and dont you love how rawan assumed that i chose barrak over mariam? she probably doesnt know the whole story. and honestly, i dont care. im done crying. im all out of tears. just then , barrak called me. i decided to answer. i knew he had an explanation and i was dying to hear it. honestly, i think i was actually dying to just hear his voice. it relaxed me.

"alo?" i tried to hide any signs that i had been crying because i didnt want him to know.

"NOORA WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! I WAS GOING CRAZY! ANA BARA BETKUM! SHFEECH INTAI WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY YA3NE!?" he was PISSED. 7ayaty he was worried about me. i felt so good at that moment, even though he was screaming at me. but the fact that one person, just one person cared about me, made me happy at that moment.

"barrak a7ibik" and i smiled. i smiled and forgot about mariam and rawan and just thought about me and barrak and our future.

"amout feech! nooro men 9ijy dont you even think about ever doing that to me again!!" he had calmed down, but i could tell he was still a bit worried.

i fell asleep after that, completely forgetting to ask about the ROU7Y caller.

i woke up to what i thought was the next morning, in a white hospital room with my brother Fahood sitting next to me reading the Quraan.

12.

dalnoora? he forgot my name? what ? he was going to call me dalal? dalya? what the hell was happening? w shenu another phone rings with MY ringtone!

i decided not to call him. i was going to wait for him to call and explain. so i waited, and waited, and waited, and WAITED and an hour passed and he still didnt call. so i started crying. i think i cried more because of what just happened with me and mariam. i couldnt believe it. first i lost my best friend. the girl that meant the world to me. the girl that i would kill myself for and now i think im about to lose barrak. or was he never mine?

so many thoughts were piling up in my head. and then suddenly, he called.

"...." i picked up not saying anything. not because i was mad at him, but because i was crying, and i didnt want him to hear it through my voice.

"noora?" he seemed down. maybe he was scared that I FOUND OUT ABOUT HIS SECRET IDENTITY?!

"...." i still couldnt talk. everytime i wanted to breathe i'd put the phone down because he knows me well enough to know when i was crying.

"7abeebty? please answer me, i can explain everything" the way he said that, broke my heart. i felt like he was telling me the truth, like theres nothing to hide. like its just a simple explanation.

"explain" i choked on my words and couldnt say anything else. i was still crying.

"shoufai, i never told you what my ex's name was. it was dalya. alla yer7amha. so anyways, yes, i do have two lines, but that is only because the other one was under the khadama's name so that if her soon-to-be husband, talal, would find her talking to me, he wouldnt find out who i was." he seemed so sad. i cant believe i doubted him! 7abeeby! i wanted to beat myself up because of that!

"oh..." was all i managed to say.

"and when i was talking to you, that phone rang. it never rings. you dont understand, i always have it on, i dont know why. no one else besides her knew that number. and it rang. so i jumped at the fact that it rang. im sorry i almost called you dalya. but you can imagine my shock when i saw that the person calling was dalya's number" he was sad. he wasnt crying. but he was sad. "wala ya noora, i freaked out. shloun dalya's calling me? shes dead. i went to the 3aza. she is dead. so i shut the phone from you and i picked up but no one talked. they just shut the phone in face. i called back, and it was switched off. i kept calling and calling but it was switched off." he was even sadder, not crying, but very very sad.

"7abeeby khalas its okay..." i didnt know what to say.

"no theres more. dalya's number called me back and i picked up again. this time a man was on the other side of the phone. he told me he was talal, dalya's fiance, and that they just found her phone and there was a message in the draft that was meant for me the day she died. it said that she loved me not talal and that when she got back to kuwait, she wanted us to get married and she didnt care about her parents. he told me and shut the phone" now barrak was heartbroken. i know how much she meant to him. i know how much she still means to him and that he will always love her. but how do you make someone in this kind of situation feel better?

"baby..." i really did not know what to say to him.

"noora, i need to see you. come over, no ones here"

he really needed me, and i knew he wouldnt try anything while he was in such a mood. so i agreed to go to his place for a couple of hours. he met me at the jam3eya again and we headed to his house. the whole way there he was holding my hand and stroking it and randomly kissing it. but the only thing that broke my heart was when he said "baby please dont ever leave me, a7ibich, and i cannot lose someone else. you are my life. please, dont leave me" and his eyes teared up.

we got to his house and went inside and he insisted on watching friends. so he made popcorn, we sat in his room and watched friends. and he fell asleep on my lap. he was so cute, he looked like a baby sleeping peacefully on my lap.

he only slept for around 15 minutes, and when he woke up i was staring straight into his eyes. 7abeeby, hes so handsome.

"a7ibik barrak"

"you know thats the first time you ever say it to me in arabic? you know how amazing it feels to hear it? 7abeebty intai, amout feech" and he pulled me in and kissed me.

i never let him get too far with the physical stuff, and he never tried, which is something i loved about him. he knew my limits and he never tried to exceed them.

he got up to go to the bathroom and left his phone on the couch. i didnt look through it, i didnt even notice it was there until his phone rang.

"ROU7Y;** calling"

11 b

didnt know what to say? DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY? was he joking? i dont know why, but at that moment i felt like he was going to say something like: yeah fa now me and her are together w i cant talk to you anymore. madry lesh, but that thought creeped into my head.

"what do you mean you didnt know what to say?" i tried to sound as calm as i possibly could.

"ya3ne 7abeebty, i didnt know what to tell her. hal bent mu men mustawach and i dont want you talking to her anymore. shenu hatha my wife-to-be etkalem banat like this? w ana eshdaranee that she isnt doing that with every guy that wants you?!" when barrak gets mad, he doesnt scream or shout or cuss, his tone of voice changes and you can just hear the difference. so now, i knew he was mad.

"i.. i, um, i dont believe you" i really didnt. i couldnt believe that my best friend, 7abeebet gulby would do that.

"see for yourself, call her and ask her" and he shut the phone in my face.

i sat in my place, i dont even think i blinked, i was extremely shocked that he would come up with such bullshit about my best friend just to cover up for his best friend! i knew what i had to do. so i called mariam.

"NOOROO! I CAN EXPLAIN!" she screamed as soon as she picked up the phone. ha? explain what? what the hell is she talking about? laykun barrak called her and told her he told me? shit, he was right wasnt he?

"Mariam, im going to ask you once. Barrak, was what he said true?" she knew me more than anyone so she could tell that i was very angry.

"Nooro *sobs* im sorry! *sobs* i dont know how i did that! i didnt mean to *sobs*" and she was crying like a baby.

"thats all i needed to hear. as far as im concerned, you and me are no longer friends. we are merely acquaintances. as far as im concerned, you dont even exist to me. bye" and i shut the phone.

how could she? how could she do something so low? i was so disappointed. and i trusted her? i trusted her over rawan? my mother was right. you can only trust family, because in the end, they are the only ones that are going to be there for you no matter what happens.

i decided to put this aside for now and call barrak and apologize.

"Na3am?" he was obviously very mad at me as well.

"Im sorry, im sorry for doubting you and im sorry for not believing you." i couldnt think of anything else to say. i love him, i just lost my best friend, i cannot lose him too. only problem is that he didnt know i loved him. he thought we were just a couple and he loved me but i liked him.

"khalas ok" he has never been so cold to me in his life. i guess i really hurt him. it was killing me to know that i hurt him. i loved him. I LOVED BARRAK AL X! and i was going to tell him.

"Barrak.. im going to talk and i want you to just listen ok?" khalas, i was going to tell him i love him.

"ok" WE3 WE3 HE WAS SO COLD!

"i know i hurt you by telling you that i didnt believe you. but mariam was my best friend, i know her more than i know myself, well at least i thought i knew her that well." i sighed and took a deep breath "barrak, its killing me that i hurt you. i would rather stab myself 1000 times in the eye than hurt you in anyway" and he giggled. YAY I MADE HIM GIGGLE! "and barrak?"

"yes?" his voice was back to its usual tone. the tone i loved.

"i love you" its weird how i didnt even hesitate. it just came out smoothly. i guess i really did love him.

"NA3AAAM!?" he shouted with pure happiness. 7ayate he was happy!

"you heard me...." i giggled softly. fashla! i didnt want to say it again! how awkward!

"la2 la2 ba3ad mara ba3ad mara!!" 7abeebe how could i say no to him? hes so cute.

"i love you" this time it was lower because he was making it awkward for me.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! a7medo! IT7IBNY! IT7IBNY! 7ABEEBTY IT7IBNY!" he screamed towards his brother. he made me laugh so much! shenu he tells his brother?! haha.

"hehe barraky bas khalas" i was so shy and embarrassed.

"amout? amout a7sanly? wala il7ein agdar amout! NOORA AMOUT FEECH!!!!" he screamed so loudly.

"barrak are you alone now?" i was asking to make sure because he just screamed my name out loud. but it was so cute.

"e 7abeebty dont worry!" he was so happy, i could feel the smile through the phone.

*yis2elouny laih a7ibik, 7ub ma 7eba bashaar* that was my ringtone on his phone. it was ringing. how was that possible? we were on the phone!

"uh dalnoora shway wadig 3alech" and he shut the phone in my face. dalnoora? who the hell was calling him? and HE HAS 2 PHONES?!

11 a

sorry its really short, but im so tired! i'll post part b as soon as i wake up!

"Noora, khalid is married" he seemed like he knew this question was coming, but his voice was way too calm.

"like recently?" i needed to know all the details so that i would know how to tell maryoom. 7abeebty, i thought, she was going to be even more heartbroken!

"no, like 2 years ago.." he voice kind of faded, i think this is where he started to feel bad about what happened between khalid and mariam.

"2 YEARS AGO? THEN WHY THE HELL DID HE TALK TO MARIAM IN THE FIRST PLACE? SHENU SHES A GAME?!" i dont even remember half of what i said at that moment, but i was extremely pissed. what the hell? how selfish. i couldnt believe it. he was supposedly prince charming and superman that came to the rescue when we needed him. and hes been married for 2 years?!

"calm down, i can explain"

"THEN EXPLAIN BEFORE I GIVE YOUR FRIEND'S WIFE A LITTLE CALL!" of course i couldnt calm down. what a player!!

"okay, listen, calm the hell down. mariam already knows hes married" WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

"what? no she doesnt, she told me to ask you what was up with khalid!!" i didnt understand what was going on. i was confused. none of this was making sense.

"youre too naive nooro. listen to everything i have to say and dont interrupt okay? and you can ask me anything you want when im done ok?"

"okay" i was still very very confused.

"when i called mariam the first time and she put us on conference, she refused to give me your number. but, she kept asking me about khalid and where he was. and she would even call me randomly and ask about him. but khalood told me not to tell her anything or give her any details about him, so i didnt. but then when months passed and i was going crazy because i wanted to talk to you so badly, i called her again. only this time, she managed to bribe me. she told me that if i told her why khalid stopped talking to her, she would give me your number, but i wasnt allowed to tell you that she gave it to me or she would call khalid and tell him that she knew he was married or she would call his wife."

"WHAT?" i was shocked. no, shocked would be the sugarcoated version of how i felt. i was hurt. my best friend sold me out for a guy she knew for a week? la i dont believe it.

"let me continue. so for that whole 4 months, when i always knew where you were, what you were wearing, what you were doing, who you were with, it was because mariam would message me everywhere you guys would go, what you were wearing, what you were talking about. everything. i didnt ask her to, i just kept getting messages. then the day we were in lenotre, she realized it was me and as soon as i got up and left, she sent me a message saying: we need to talk, call me at night, its urgent please. so when i got home and you and me shut the phone, i called her."

"you did what? why didnt you tell me?" i think by now i was crying, i dont know. i was so shocked. i trusted both of them.

"Noora, let me continue. fa anyways, i called her and she was crying. and theres no way im going to leave a girl to cry. so i asked her what was wrong and she kept complaining about how she thought khalid was the one and how it was love at first sight. so i tried to calm her down. when i did, she told me that i was hot and that i should leave you for her because you would never find out and all this bullshit and that she would fulfill my fantasies and stuff like that and, honestly, i didnt know what to say....."

10.

JLEEB SHYOUKH? shit! i recall hearing my father talk about drug dealers that got busted there a while back and how even police officers wouldnt go there! maybe he was exaggerating? i dont know.

"um... barrak? where the hell are you taking me?" i was shaking, i was so scared!

"haha dont be scared" was all he said! DONT BE SCARED?! SHENU DONT BE SCARED?!

"YOURE GOING TO TAKE ME TO JLEEB SHYOUKH AND RAPE ME ARENT YOU?! I KNEW YOU WERE A RAPIST!" i bursted into tears. i honestly believed that he was going to rape me and leave me to rot

he started laughing. like full-on laughing. to the extent that tears were coming out of his eyes. and he looked at me and said "7abeebty, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" he couldnt even keep his laugh in for one minute

"WHAT WHAT?! YOU THINK ITS FUNNY THAT I FOUND OUT YOUR EVIL PLAN?!" and i cried some more.

he passed the jleeb shyoukh sign and went straight. "barrak, where the hell are we going? enough. youre scaring me" i managed to hold back my tears and say that.

"were going to my house. remember i told you my parents and brothers safaraw?" he was grinning in a way that made me feel like he was teasing me. like jerry teases tom.

"but, i dont want to go to your house. please. im not like that" i think going to his house scared me more than going to jleeb shyoukh. "anyways where is your house, the end of the world!?"

"dont you trust me?"

"of course i do"

"then khalas, nothing is going to happen 7abeebty." and he held my hand and we arrived at his house.

it was beautiful. not like a house you would expect to see in kuwait. more like one you would see in malibu. it was pure white and so clean. not the white that was dusty or dirty, no it was shiny and clean! and it had huge windows and outside was his porsche, another range rover HSE, a cayenne gts, cayenne turbo, a touareg, and an escalade. so basically they had 7 cars. he took my hand and while we were walking, we went around the house and entered something attached to the house.

it was like a little apartment, it had a room, a living room, a little kitchen, and a bathroom.

"welcome to my room" he said with a huge smile.

it was cute, everything was white, like the outside of the house, and a hint of red here and there.

we sat in the living room on his white leather sofa and he brought me around 20 something movies to pick from. i dont really remember what movie i picked but we put it in and i fell asleep half way through. i woke up to his voice.

"Noora 7abeebty, you want to sleep?" he asked so softly

i just nodded, i dont think i was aware of where i was. so he picked me up and put me on his bed underneath the covers. and i suddenly woke up a few minutes later and realized where i was. i sat up and looked around me but i couldnt spot barrak. wela faj2a i feel someone pulling at me from the right and i turn and barrak was laying down next to me on the bed, underneath the covers in nothing but his scooby doo boxers.

i forgot to mention what i was wearing that day! i was wearing skinny jeans, chestnut colored uggs, and a black tanktop, black cardigan and a huge red scarf and i put on my red coat. it was very random but i wasnt the type to dress up to see a guy. if he didnt like the way i dressed, kaifa he can go for someone else.

so i looked down at myself and i was in my jeans and tanktop. ONLY. meaning he had taken my cardigan off and my uggs. i already took my coat and scarf off when i got to his house. but freaky much? so he was awake and i looked down and pulled the covers off of us to find that he had a boner. isnt that just great? how awkward can things get?

i freaked out. ya3nee, at the time i thought WE3 and i started crying. i dont know why. i was just very emotional. and i asked him to take me back. so he got dressed, we got into his car, and headed back to the jam3eya.

on our way there, he turned to me and said "im sorry, nothing happened between us if thats why you were crying, but i couldnt help what happened down there" and he pointed DOWN THERE and giggled "youre hot, im a guy, its not something i could control 7abeebty" and he kissed my hand.

"its okay, im sorry. this is just all very new to me" i told him, and i was actually happy that he explained it to me and cared about how i felt.

so we got to the jam3eya and before i got out, we were saying our goodbyes and planning what we were going to do tomorrow and he asked me something

"noora, can i kiss you?" he seemed shy but he gave me that smile that melted my heart, how could i say no to that? even though it would be my first kiss, i said yes.

he kissed me. it wasnt long, it didnt involve tongue action. no, it was a passionate kiss but not rough. and i opened the door, got out, got into my car, and headed home.

i knew that me and barrak were going to go a long way. remember? he said he wanted me to be his wife!

so the day ended and all i could think about was barrak and how hard i was falling for him. wasnt it too soon? we've only known each other for around 5 months and have only been a couple for 2 days and he ALREADY kissed me and slept in the same bed as me? what was happening to me?

but the thought that relieved me was that next year at this time, barrak was going to be my fiance. he said it himself. he was just waiting for me to graduate.

the only person i told was maryoom. for some reason, i felt that it was better not to mention this to rawan because she, being the motherly type, would probably come over to my house and put my head in the toilet.

maryoom didnt think it was too early, bil3ax, she thought he was perfect in every way and that i was lucky to have him. but she didnt seem very comfortable on the phone that night.

"maryoom babe shfeech?"

"noora, can you do me a favor?" she never asked me, she usually just told me.

"of course galbee, shfeech?" i was worried.

"well, the other day, i was going to get something for my mother from alraya and i saw khalid's car, remember the cayenne we drove?" she seemed so sad. it was breaking my heart

"yeah?"

"well, i couldnt help but wondering what i did wrong, ya3nee why did he just stop talking to me?" she seriously was breaking my heart. she found someone that was able to break her confidence, someone she put her guard down for, and he hurt her so badly.

"7abeebty guys are assholes" i didnt even know what to say, i didnt have much experience with guys before.

"noora, can you ask barrak about khalid and what happened? i just want to know what i did wrong. because its killing me thinking that i might have done something to lose someone so amazing" she started crying. maryoom never cries. especially not over something like a guy.

"of course 7abeebty, ill ask and get back to you" and with that, we shut the phone and i called barrak.

"NOORAA!!" he screamed with excitement

"BAROOROO!" that was my nickname for him. haha. and he hated it to pieces.

"we3 bas." hes such a dalou3.

"ok anyways barrak, i have to talk to you about something. are you free?" my voice was extremely serious to the point where if he would have been busy, he would have made himself free to find out what it was and thats exactly what he did.

"yeah just one minute." and he walked out of the duwaniya "hala 7abeebty, whats wrong?"

"Barrak shloon Khalid?" i asked straight out. ma a7ib when people elifoun w edouron. its like: GET TO THE POINT ALREADY BEFORE I HAVE A SEIZURE.

"Khalid, rifeeji?" he was confused and taken aback by the fact that i brought up khalid.

"Khalid, maryoom's khalid, meaning e, khalid rifeejik" i dont know why i was being so cold.

"hes good laish?" min 9eja hatha?

"can i ask you something? but you answer me honestly?" i was losing my patience.

"e" E?! HOW COLD CAN SOMEONE GET?

"What happened with khalid and maryoom? why did he stop talking to her faj2a?"

"Noora, khalid is married."