12.

dalnoora? he forgot my name? what ? he was going to call me dalal? dalya? what the hell was happening? w shenu another phone rings with MY ringtone!

i decided not to call him. i was going to wait for him to call and explain. so i waited, and waited, and waited, and WAITED and an hour passed and he still didnt call. so i started crying. i think i cried more because of what just happened with me and mariam. i couldnt believe it. first i lost my best friend. the girl that meant the world to me. the girl that i would kill myself for and now i think im about to lose barrak. or was he never mine?

so many thoughts were piling up in my head. and then suddenly, he called.

"...." i picked up not saying anything. not because i was mad at him, but because i was crying, and i didnt want him to hear it through my voice.

"noora?" he seemed down. maybe he was scared that I FOUND OUT ABOUT HIS SECRET IDENTITY?!

"...." i still couldnt talk. everytime i wanted to breathe i'd put the phone down because he knows me well enough to know when i was crying.

"7abeebty? please answer me, i can explain everything" the way he said that, broke my heart. i felt like he was telling me the truth, like theres nothing to hide. like its just a simple explanation.

"explain" i choked on my words and couldnt say anything else. i was still crying.

"shoufai, i never told you what my ex's name was. it was dalya. alla yer7amha. so anyways, yes, i do have two lines, but that is only because the other one was under the khadama's name so that if her soon-to-be husband, talal, would find her talking to me, he wouldnt find out who i was." he seemed so sad. i cant believe i doubted him! 7abeeby! i wanted to beat myself up because of that!

"oh..." was all i managed to say.

"and when i was talking to you, that phone rang. it never rings. you dont understand, i always have it on, i dont know why. no one else besides her knew that number. and it rang. so i jumped at the fact that it rang. im sorry i almost called you dalya. but you can imagine my shock when i saw that the person calling was dalya's number" he was sad. he wasnt crying. but he was sad. "wala ya noora, i freaked out. shloun dalya's calling me? shes dead. i went to the 3aza. she is dead. so i shut the phone from you and i picked up but no one talked. they just shut the phone in face. i called back, and it was switched off. i kept calling and calling but it was switched off." he was even sadder, not crying, but very very sad.

"7abeeby khalas its okay..." i didnt know what to say.

"no theres more. dalya's number called me back and i picked up again. this time a man was on the other side of the phone. he told me he was talal, dalya's fiance, and that they just found her phone and there was a message in the draft that was meant for me the day she died. it said that she loved me not talal and that when she got back to kuwait, she wanted us to get married and she didnt care about her parents. he told me and shut the phone" now barrak was heartbroken. i know how much she meant to him. i know how much she still means to him and that he will always love her. but how do you make someone in this kind of situation feel better?

"baby..." i really did not know what to say to him.

"noora, i need to see you. come over, no ones here"

he really needed me, and i knew he wouldnt try anything while he was in such a mood. so i agreed to go to his place for a couple of hours. he met me at the jam3eya again and we headed to his house. the whole way there he was holding my hand and stroking it and randomly kissing it. but the only thing that broke my heart was when he said "baby please dont ever leave me, a7ibich, and i cannot lose someone else. you are my life. please, dont leave me" and his eyes teared up.

we got to his house and went inside and he insisted on watching friends. so he made popcorn, we sat in his room and watched friends. and he fell asleep on my lap. he was so cute, he looked like a baby sleeping peacefully on my lap.

he only slept for around 15 minutes, and when he woke up i was staring straight into his eyes. 7abeeby, hes so handsome.

"a7ibik barrak"

"you know thats the first time you ever say it to me in arabic? you know how amazing it feels to hear it? 7abeebty intai, amout feech" and he pulled me in and kissed me.

i never let him get too far with the physical stuff, and he never tried, which is something i loved about him. he knew my limits and he never tried to exceed them.

he got up to go to the bathroom and left his phone on the couch. i didnt look through it, i didnt even notice it was there until his phone rang.

"ROU7Y;** calling"