13. -IDENTITY A7IBICH!! :D

ROU7Y;* ? who the fuck was rou7y? it cant be dalya's number li2ana this was his phone, not the one under the khadama's name. i didnt know what to do, should i pick up? let it ring and then ask him? or what? i have no reason to doubt him, i mean, he hasnt given me a reason to. but i decided, even though i shouldnt have, to pick up.

"....." i didnt say a word. i wanted "rou7a" to talk first

"barrak! BARRAK I NEED YOU!" it was a woman. of course. surprised? i shut the phone in her face and she called back again. only this time i let it ring.

he had the ringtone that got louder by the second, you know what i mean? so he rushed out of the bathroom and i handed him his phone. his face turned pale. he rejected the call and opened his call log and realized that i answered the time before.

"Noora, please tell me you didnt talk. please" he sounded worried and his face was getting paler by the second.

min 9ija hatha? his other girlfriend or whatever the hell she is calls him when im with him and he doesnt even make up an excuse? not that i wanted him to lie, but this is NOT the reaction i expected. i expected him to be crying on the floor begging me to forgive him. la eshda3wa not that dramatic, but at least explain it to me!

"take me to the jam3eya. now." and i put my shoes on and walked out of his house and he followed me. we drove there silently and i got out, got in my car and went home.

no one was at home when i got there because they were all at the shaleh and i chose to stay home. so i headed up to my floor, turned my phone off, turned the bath on, and cried. i sat in the tub for what i think was an hour. you know when ur fingers start getting wrinkly? i cried so much that everything i saw looked like a white blob of nothingness. i don't even know how to explain it but everything was blurry.

usually, at times like this, i would call mariam, but i couldn't. so i called rawan. i needed to tell her everything thats been going on and apologize for not telling her earlier. so i called her from the house phone since my phone was still off and she picked up after the second ring.

"na3am?" she seemed angry.

"shfeech?" my voice was broken. i couldnt deal with more drama today.

"dont call me again. we are not friends anymore, we are merely acquaintances" she mocked my voice and shut the phone in my face.

what did i do wrong? what did i do to her? ive never harmed her in anyway. you guys need to understand that the friendship between me, mariam, and rawan, wasnt like any other friendship. no, we were sisters, literally, we were together every single waking second of the day.

this is the second where i went crazy. you know the dramatic teenage lives where you want to kill yourself because the pain is too much to bare with? that was my moment.

i went into the medicine cupboard and grabbed three of the closest bottles of pills that i could reach and headed back to my room. i debated in my head whether or not i should do this, and decided that i should. i have no idea what i was thinking. i was almost done swallowing somewhere around the 30th pill when i stopped. what the hell was i doing? 7aram! 7ARAM! im not dayna, but i do believe. if i was going to kill myself, i would go to hell. i would cause my family more pain than i was feeling myself. so i stopped.

i couldnt sleep all night because i kept throwing up. apparently the pills have that effect on a body. around 5 am, i decided to turn my phone on. i got a MissU message and 4 other messages.

MissU was 32 calls from barrak

1st message was from barrak saying: please call me im worried

2nd message was also from barrak saying: noora, please call me. 7ady 5ayef 3alech.

3rd message was from rawan saying: paybacks a bitch ha? ;) hoes over bros bitch. not the other way around.

4th message was from mariam saying: haha.

shenu haha? shenu paybacks a bitch? yahal i7na? grow up 7abeebty. were not still in the 2nd grade watching My Little Pony. and dont you love how rawan assumed that i chose barrak over mariam? she probably doesnt know the whole story. and honestly, i dont care. im done crying. im all out of tears. just then , barrak called me. i decided to answer. i knew he had an explanation and i was dying to hear it. honestly, i think i was actually dying to just hear his voice. it relaxed me.

"alo?" i tried to hide any signs that i had been crying because i didnt want him to know.

"NOORA WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! I WAS GOING CRAZY! ANA BARA BETKUM! SHFEECH INTAI WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY YA3NE!?" he was PISSED. 7ayaty he was worried about me. i felt so good at that moment, even though he was screaming at me. but the fact that one person, just one person cared about me, made me happy at that moment.

"barrak a7ibik" and i smiled. i smiled and forgot about mariam and rawan and just thought about me and barrak and our future.

"amout feech! nooro men 9ijy dont you even think about ever doing that to me again!!" he had calmed down, but i could tell he was still a bit worried.

i fell asleep after that, completely forgetting to ask about the ROU7Y caller.

i woke up to what i thought was the next morning, in a white hospital room with my brother Fahood sitting next to me reading the Quraan.