im home sick :(
ROU7Y;** calling?! AGAIN?
"Uh, nouny 7abebte yallah go to school!" he literally pushed me out of his car.
What the hell was going on? shisalfa? before i even had the chance to turn around and ask him to explain why he was in such a hurry, he drove off. khalas, i thought to myself that khalas this is enough shit and i need to fix it.
while i was stuck in my little world of thoughts, i accidentally walked into 7amoud. remember? 7amoud was mad at me because of barrak and didnt want anything to do with me.
"Sorry" i gave him a sad smile
"Its okay" he was very cold. it killed me to be talked to like that by someone who apparently cared about me a lot. why was i losing everyone?
the tears gathered up in my eyes and i looked down
"Noora?" i ignored him. 7amoud knew me better than my family did so if i talked, he would have known i was about to burst into tears "Noora 7abebte are you okay?"
i dont know what came over me at that moment but i literally jumped on 7amoud and gave him the longest hug ever. and even when i wanted to let go, he wouldnt let me. we just stood outside school hugging each other like idiots wile everyone watched. i didnt care. as long as i still have 7amoud as a friend.
"Noora im sorry i overreacted.. i just.. i love you.. more than a friend, less than a sister, more than anyone could ever love anyone else." okay so i knew 7amoud had some feelings for me. bas WOAH love? HELLO DRAMA!
"7amoud baby u know i have a boyfriend, i dont think it is right for u to have such feelings. i mean, i am practically engaged!" you know, because barrak kept feeding me hope that we would end up married.
7amoud gave me such a sad look, i knew i crushed him, and it killed me. suddenly he looked up and smiled at me "Nooro, lets ditch school, male khilq Ms.Cary"
"YAY! okay! :D" we went for a drive and ended up getting breakfast at johnny rockets in marina.
it was so random, but it was one of the best days of senior year, honestly.
"Nooro, does he treat u well?"
i told 7amoud everything that ever happened between us EXCEPT for the physical part of our relationship. and while i was talking about barrak, i noticed that i am probably the worlds biggest idiot. obviously rou7y wasn't his mother. and obviously he has someone else on the side. why was i so blind?
i started crying, like a maniac, in the middle of johnny rockets and 7amoud paid the bill and we went to the car.
"Noora 7abebte what are you going to do now?" he was concerned, i could tell he cared a lot and not just because i was gonna be single but because i was going to be free of someone that didnt even love me.
i took out my phone, completely ignoring 7amoud's question and send a message to barrak.
"Have fun with rou7ek because i am officially done with this relationship. i hope she makes you happy. :)"
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
19 b
im so sorry i have just been extremely lazy and stuff bas im back w 7ady sorry! <3>
Identity, i miss you!
"Barrak?" i couldnt believe it. no way. no way barrak's in london!
"Uh isalam ekhty" he continued talking but i was too shocked to listen. i dont even remember what he said but it was obviously about the stupid porsche.
"BARRAK?! BARRAK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" i was furious. i didnt know what to tell him. he giggled. the giggle that i grew to love more than anything in this world. he giggled it with kel theqa.
"Is it easier if i speak to you in english?" he giggled again. no way this cant be barrak no way thats not possible.
Anyways, ,barrak/ her fiance explained to me that he will fix the car with his insurance or whatever he had said and i was crying the whole time he was talking. i couldnt help myself. how could he do this to me? and why was he acting like he didnt know me? and why was he ignoring me when i said his name! that just made me ten times madder.
We shut the phone and i just sat in my room crying.
When i ran out of tears and there were none left. i decided to call him. i dialed his number and his phone was off. AH. i wish i knew that other number he always carried around. i decided to call 7amoud because i knew he would make me feel better, and honestly, i felt like khalas, i had no one left. My family was out of the country and my so-called best friends left me. khalas who else could i turn to?
"Nouny!" he always seemed so happy to talk to me, hes so cute ya7leela.
"7amoud i have to confess something to you and i need your help"
"Go ahead nouns, im listening" i think he thought i was going to confess my love for him aw shey le'ana it felt like he sat up and he got so excited. 7aram.
i told him all about barrak and the girls from A-Z.
"Noora, i cant talk to you, im sorry" and he shut the phone in my face. this was the first time since ive known him that he has called me Noora. it hurt. i dont know why. maybe because i felt like i was losing another person that i trusted.
i decided to call one of my cousins, Shouag and go out for a bit, maybe it would get my mind off of this. Shouag knew all about Barrak and what had happened. we didnt hang out much but she knew everything and i did too. She came and picked me up and we went out and got some food and movies and came back to my house. she was sleeping over. faj2a, i got a message from a strange number saying: By the way, i am nasser, barraks BROTHER, not barrak, but i couldnt let my fiance know that barrak has a girlfriend because she would think badly. Sorry for any pain i caused, and barrak is in london and says he loves you very much.
that message made my day. i read it over and over again until barrak came back to kuwait. i knew he wouldnt hurt me! hes my baby, no way would he cause me so much pain, no way would he lie to me, no way would he cheat on me... he loved me, didnt he?
a week later:
I woke up and was getting ready for school when i got a a message from barrak.
I automatically smiled and read it: 7abebte, im back! wileht 3alech ya gulby! im outside waiting, dont take too long!
i ran down the stairs and outside the house and into his car! i literally jumped on him and hugged him as tightly as possible. as usual, my iced caramel machiatto and halloum panini were waiting for me. hes so cute. how could i have doubted him? 7abebe he loves me.
"WHY DID U LEAVE WITHOUT TELLING ME?!" i put on my best mad face even though i was happier than i had ever been
"7abebte work stuff, im sorry" and he kissed my head and honestly, thats all i needed. i didnt care that his excuse was silly, i just cared that he was here, with me!
We got to school and i asked him if i could ditch the day so we could spend it together but he didnt look comfortable with the idea. "La2 7abebte, go to school i will pick u up when u are done" he had the weirdest look on his face!
"Okay. OH! BY THE WAY! i forgot to tell you that i got into an accident with your brother's fiance the other day!" his face went pale
"Oh haha, yes i know nasoor told me"
"Barrak, 7abebe eshfeik?" it was so obvious that something was wrong. but before he could answer my question, his phone rang
ROU7Y;** was calling.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)