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Im so sorry that i've been away for so long, but someone very close to me actually passed away after a long battle with cancer. i just needed some time off, but i believe im back now and i will go back to posting again. sorry again, identity, i miss you the most! :*



i took out my phone, completely ignoring 7amoud's question and send a message to barrak.

"Have fun with rou7ek because i am officially done with this relationship. i hope she makes you happy. :)"

I just couldnt take it anymore. i think that the presence of 7amoud with me at the time is what gave me the strength to do such a thing, because, the second i got home i regretted it all. of course barrak didnt reply to the message since, to him, he doesnt waste his time with pointless messages, and to him, my doubts were pointless and "unnecessary"

honestly, i didnt know what to do. he called me the second i got home.

"MENO HATHA ELY BIL SAYARA!" he was angry. ive never heard him this angry. 7abeebe, he obviously cares if hes this jealous!

"my friend... 7amoud... i told you about him remember?" i was scared. actually, to say i was scared would be an understatement

"NOORA, AKHER MARA AS2ILICH. WHO THE FUCK IS THE GUY? YOU CHEATED ON ME?! IS HE THE REASON YOU BROKE UP WITH ME IN THE FUCKING MESSAGE?!" Let me tell you something about barrak, he is, in no way, the type of person to curse. Thus, when he broke out into "fucks" i was beyond shocked. was it really this bad? i didnt know that i wasnt allowed to hang out with my guy friends, especially 7amoud who ive known for years!

"Barrak, i told you the truth. he is a friend from school, nothing more. i swear to you, hes just a really good friend" i was frightened!

"NOORA! SHENO JUST A FUCKING FRIEND! MAKO! MAY9EIR! ITS NOT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY AND A GIRL TO BE JUST FRIENDS"

what the hell was he saying? not possible? i had a lot of guy friends at school, and personally, i prefer guy friends to girls. they are less bitchy, they tend to not talk about you as much, and they give you better advice, plus they are so much funner.

i stayed quiet.

"NOORA TALK!" i could feel the anger through the phone; but wait; how did he even know i was in the car with 7amoud? wasnt he supposed to be at work?

"How did you know?"

"SHENO ITS A SECRET YA3NE? MIN 9EJECH ENTAI?! I WAS WAITING OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE 3ASHAN ARATHEECH BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING MESSAGE AND NOW I KNOW WHY YOU SENT IT! 3ASHAN 7ABEEB EL GALB M7AMAD!" woah. back up. what? 7abeeb el galb? eratheny? i thought he didnt do anything wrong. but ofcourse, at the time, being the love-sick puppy i was, i cried. i didnt want to lose barrak, he really was my world.

"Baby, im sorry, i didnt know it would be a problem, it wont happen again ok? lets just not argue please" he could obviously tell i was crying through the phone, im not good at hiding it, especially not from him. however, i was told once that crying infront of the guy makes you seem weaker and, thus, makes them attack you more. i dont know, anyways, he stayed silent and i could hear him take a deep breath

"Noora, akalmech ba3den" and he shut the phone in my face. honestly, my biggest pet peeve is when someone shuts the phone in my face when im not done talking. IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALLS. but with him, i accepted everything. everything that i was against became okay, just as long as he was my baby.

I sat in my room staring at my reflection, when 7amoud called me. i didnt want to pick up, i felt like barrak was watching me, so i didnt. i then, got a message from 7amoud saying: Noora, pick up. Its an emergency.
and he called seeda after he sent it, so i picked up.

"A..Alo?" my voice was still stuttery because of how shocked and scared i was of barrak

"Noora, have i ever done anything to you. ever?" he seemed hurt in a way

"you mean something bad? to harm me?" i was confused, why was he asking me this, we were just okay

"yes Noora, something bad. have i ever hurt you or dont something you dont like?"

"La2, not that i can think of, why?" i was seriously confused, i didnt understand what he was getting at, but i remember the feeling i had in my stomach at the time, i was nervous, but i didnt know why until he spoke...